Hippo Birdies Two Ewes

[tanarill]

It is the birthday of my Emmylove! Therefore, pirate!Daaaaaaaan!

Title: Youngblood Ain't Got Nothin'
Fandom: ASRP, One Piece
Rating: R
Warning: Not-really-implied gay sex. Also, language and Dan dressing up like a pirate.


The-well, he didn't think it was a devil fruit user, although he'd never actually seen anyone with blue skin before-said, "So, who are you?"

"U-usopp," stuttered Usopp.

"And where are we?"

"A desert isle?" said Usopp, hoping it was the right answer. And, at the blank look, "Somewhere on the Grand Line?"

"That would help if I knew where the Grand Line was. Or, possibly why that mirror sent me here instead of any one of a million other places that fucktard could have sent me." It was looking at him again. Like he was possibly a snack. "I'm Dan, by the way."

"Oh. Um. I. What are you?"

"A ghost."

Usopp . . . screamed wasn't the right word for it. Birds on the other side of the island took off.

It grinned. "Nice. But this is how it's done." And it wailed. Whole sixty-foot palms went flying. And then it picked him and . . . flew. Presumably to give him a better view of the destruction.

"Ohgodohgodohgod," Usopp chanted, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Afraid of heights?"

"No. I'm not afraid of anything! I'm a pirate! And when my nakama get here-"

"Who?"

"My crew?"

" . . . yeah, I don't see that happening any time soon. I don't see anyone for miles."

"Oh." He was passing through that region of terror and into the happy calm place beyond, which was the one where, secure in the knowledge that he was going to die, he could think again.

"On the other hand," continued Dan, "I'd love to meet them."

"They're probably north of here," offered Usopp.

"North it is," said Dan, flying in that direction.

This was why, when Clockwork and a very worried Freakshow finally figured out where he'd gone (six weeks later), they showed up to find Dan giving a very enthusiastic blowjob to the sharpshooting pirate, while wearing a number of sets of gold earrings, an eyepatch, and a not-really-fake-but-also-totally unnecessary peg leg. Also, someone had taught him to wield a cutlass.

For his part, of course, he promptly tackled Freakshow and proceeded to show him what else he'd learned while being a pirate.

Clockwork just rolled his eyes. This didn't, actually, prevent him from joining them shortly thereafter.

Comments

[scribe-protra.livejournal.com]

OMG OMFG TAN THIS IS GLORIOUS AND HISTERICAL AND fjfslkhflkdhslfs AHAHAAHAHAHAH LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE.

[ginnyvos.livejournal.com]

I NEED to know what the series is (not the one piece one but the other) I really do.
Lovely, funny and awesome even while not knowing the series.

[tanarill.livejournal.com]

Um . . . it's from the amity_slash RP. He's actually the Danny Phantom character Dark Dan from the Future, but he's much gayer and also a whole lot less bent on destruction of the human race.

Also, who are you, please, and how did you find this journal? And also, if you make this your official decloak comment, you get a free drabble. >.> Do eeeeet <.< you know you want to . . .

[ginnyvos.livejournal.com]

Ah alright, so no fandom than :P Anyway, hi! I'm Anne... Or Ginny, depending on what you prefer. I'm a fan of Scripto_porta's (or however you write that) and watching her LJ... She named stuff she got for her bday, and this was on the list. It sounded cool, so I went to have a look! ^^

[tanarill.livejournal.com]

[nods wisely] Do you wish for a Thing? I'd need character or pairing and prompt.

[ginnyvos.livejournal.com]

Haha that'd be quite wonderful! ^^ Haw about... Something one Piece, in any combination of Luffy, Zoro and/or Sanji? Prompt Seaweed? You're awesome for doing this you know?

[tanarill.livejournal.com]

"It's green," said Luffy, staring at the pile of . . . stuff . . . on his plate.

"It's kelp," said Zoro, poking it.

"It's icky," announced Luffy.

"It's the only food we've got, since some crap-captain decided that we weren't allowed to eat that last sea monster!"

"It talked! And was friendly!"

"No one else heard it, Luffy," said Zoro, mechanically working his way through the pile. "Eat you kelp. It's good for you."

"Meat's good for me!"

"Eat it anyway," said Sanji.

"Nu-uh," said Luffy, closing his mouth resolutely.

This was why, when the rest of the crew returned from exploring the island (which had a frightening large number of palms and a large number of small, brown birds that mobbed them mercilessly), they found Zoro holding Luffy down while Sanji force-fed him kelp.

***

It encourages cloaked stalkers to decloak :P

[ginnyvos.livejournal.com]

Heeee it's wonderful! <3

Lol I'd decloak anyway, but it does make a great incentive... ^^