200 Miles in 2 Days
Apr. 30th, 2007 11:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tanarillThis weekend was full of drivings.
Title: Aphrodite Feels Left Out
Fandom: Disney's Hercules? Maybe? Not making any money.
Rating: No more than PG-13. It ain't graphic . . .
Warnings: But there's one hell of a lot. And it ain't monogamous either.
It had taken him a while to get out of the Well of Souls. Not because the Well of Souls was particularly hard to get out of, but because he had to make sure that the girl and Hercules had safely left before he did. Honestly, all the souls who’d ever died and they couldn’t even defeat one god.
He took it out on Pain and Panic.
He was pleasantly unsurprised to find that Hercules had given up on godhood for the girl. Really. What was worth more, an eternity on Olympus or a mortal’s mayfly years? And it isn’t like gods can’t go to earth, either. Half the people in Greece had divine blood somewhere in the family.
But he had. For some reason, this did nothing to cheer him up.
Over the next lifetime, he:
Kidnapped and married Persephone. And it wasn’t as if he didn’t love her; it was simply that she wasn’t enough. It went unspoken for a decade, and then Persephone told him that she loved him enough to let him go. He was grateful, certainly, but not having to go behind her back meant nothing when there was no one to fail to go behind her back with.
Watched as Hercules and Meg got married and had a half-dozen screaming brats in quick succession. Zeus was surprised that he sent presents, totally innocuous non-magical presents, to all of the baby namings. Hera was not.
Showed up intermittently, when their father wasn’t around, to teach the quarter-godlings a few tricks that their father had never been taught. They weren’t very difficult, even a talented mortal could pull them off, but an extra burst of charm applied at the right time could do more than inhuman strength ever could.
Watched the Argo sail.
Watched the Argo return.
Watched Hercules go mad, and kill Megara and the two eldest. He managed to get to the other four before Hercules did. He wasn’t quite sure why he saved their lives–certainly Meg was surprised, but Seph took her aside and had apparently said something helpful because after that Seph told him that Meg was staying, and that was that. He didn’t find her quite so grating now as he had years ago, but he didn’t know if it was motherhood that had changed her or if he had changed. The women smiled.
Saw Hercules perform his twelve labors in rapid succession, with the reckless abandon that can only belong to those who don’t truly care to remain alive. He survived.
Spent a year in service to the mortal priestess-goddesses of Lydia, where he learned that love is love and lust is lust. Hades spent a lot of time in Lydia after that, to the point where the people of Lydia stopped fearing death–it is hard to fear a friend you know by name, after all.
Fell in love with Deianira, the princess of Calydon, and won her hand in honorable combat. Deianira was lot like Megara: sarcastic, sensuous only in a very sharp way, and unafraid to step outside the boundaries of women. She knew how to use a sword.
Was unwittingly betrayed by Deianira, who chose afterward to kill herself rather than live without him. She was rather surprised to find herself welcomed by Seph and Megara.
By this point, there were Hades and more than two dozen women living in his house. Seph and Megara, of course, and Deianira. Also all the mortal girl-children of Hercules who did not belong to the Omphalian priestesshood. He had drowned his sorrows in wine, women, and song for a long time, after all, and women inevitably made babies.
Hercules married Hebe. Zeus spirited the Prince Ganymede from Troy, which was probably not a good thing all told because there wouldn’t have been all that trouble later if he’d been in Troy. Hera was furious until Ganymede charmed her. Then Hera was smug like a cat and Zeus found himself in the unique position of having a house that was, for once, at peace with itself.
The women giggled, and sent blue roses to Hera. Hades was never quite sure where they had come from.
And then one day, he opened the door to find Hercules and Hebe standing outside. Hebe was almost immediately spirited off by the women, who had somehow planned the entire thing.
There was a long moment of awkwardness that stretched into almost an infinity before he started to say, “So . . . how’s life?” at the same time as Hercules began saying, “Listen, Hades–” They were both beat, however, by Irina, one of Hercules’ mortal children, who had managed once again to cut herself. This time with a fish.
Irina was the best swordswoman it had ever been Hades’ pleasure to teach. But she had a nasty tendency to inadvertently sharpen things around her, and then cut herself. He kissed the wound and sent her off to her mothers. Hercules was surprised to find that Hades even has a daughter. He was shocked to find out that in fact Hades didn’t but was taking care of his mortal children.
The awkwardness came back.
It lasted longer this time, because Hebe and the Women walked in laughing with each other and surrounded by a gaggle of children to announce that dinner as ready and if they would please quit being so weird they could eat it in the garden.
It was Seph’s garden, which should have been his first clue.
It was Deianira’s cooking, which should have been his second. Seph was good for fresh strawberries and Meg was good for the massive quantities of food needed for two gods, two dead women, and ten children between the ages of six and sixteen. Deianira was good for getting rid of inhibitions.
Dessert was honey-wine cakes. By that point, his mind should have been screaming. In fact the only thing that his mind did was hum happily and then wander off to bed, carrying Hercules.
Hades wasn’t worried about Seph, but it was a big surprise to realize in the morning that Meg and Deianira and Hebe had also been in on it. Not that a lot of his mind was paying attention while a tiny part of him ticked off the thoughts and counted them up, because mostly it paid attention to Hercules.
Hercules paid attention to Meg and Deianira and Hebe and Seph, however. He did rather more than pay attention until Hebe threw a pillow at him and told him that they were moving in with Hades, end of discussion.
Meg wore her “I’m a cat who got the cream” smile and nothing else, at least until Deianira tackled her.
Hercules didn’t get out of the house until much, much later.
Today is the twenty-eighth day of the Omer, which is four weeks into the Omer.
Title: Aphrodite Feels Left Out
Fandom: Disney's Hercules? Maybe? Not making any money.
Rating: No more than PG-13. It ain't graphic . . .
Warnings: But there's one hell of a lot. And it ain't monogamous either.
It had taken him a while to get out of the Well of Souls. Not because the Well of Souls was particularly hard to get out of, but because he had to make sure that the girl and Hercules had safely left before he did. Honestly, all the souls who’d ever died and they couldn’t even defeat one god.
He took it out on Pain and Panic.
He was pleasantly unsurprised to find that Hercules had given up on godhood for the girl. Really. What was worth more, an eternity on Olympus or a mortal’s mayfly years? And it isn’t like gods can’t go to earth, either. Half the people in Greece had divine blood somewhere in the family.
But he had. For some reason, this did nothing to cheer him up.
Over the next lifetime, he:
Kidnapped and married Persephone. And it wasn’t as if he didn’t love her; it was simply that she wasn’t enough. It went unspoken for a decade, and then Persephone told him that she loved him enough to let him go. He was grateful, certainly, but not having to go behind her back meant nothing when there was no one to fail to go behind her back with.
Watched as Hercules and Meg got married and had a half-dozen screaming brats in quick succession. Zeus was surprised that he sent presents, totally innocuous non-magical presents, to all of the baby namings. Hera was not.
Showed up intermittently, when their father wasn’t around, to teach the quarter-godlings a few tricks that their father had never been taught. They weren’t very difficult, even a talented mortal could pull them off, but an extra burst of charm applied at the right time could do more than inhuman strength ever could.
Watched the Argo sail.
Watched the Argo return.
Watched Hercules go mad, and kill Megara and the two eldest. He managed to get to the other four before Hercules did. He wasn’t quite sure why he saved their lives–certainly Meg was surprised, but Seph took her aside and had apparently said something helpful because after that Seph told him that Meg was staying, and that was that. He didn’t find her quite so grating now as he had years ago, but he didn’t know if it was motherhood that had changed her or if he had changed. The women smiled.
Saw Hercules perform his twelve labors in rapid succession, with the reckless abandon that can only belong to those who don’t truly care to remain alive. He survived.
Spent a year in service to the mortal priestess-goddesses of Lydia, where he learned that love is love and lust is lust. Hades spent a lot of time in Lydia after that, to the point where the people of Lydia stopped fearing death–it is hard to fear a friend you know by name, after all.
Fell in love with Deianira, the princess of Calydon, and won her hand in honorable combat. Deianira was lot like Megara: sarcastic, sensuous only in a very sharp way, and unafraid to step outside the boundaries of women. She knew how to use a sword.
Was unwittingly betrayed by Deianira, who chose afterward to kill herself rather than live without him. She was rather surprised to find herself welcomed by Seph and Megara.
By this point, there were Hades and more than two dozen women living in his house. Seph and Megara, of course, and Deianira. Also all the mortal girl-children of Hercules who did not belong to the Omphalian priestesshood. He had drowned his sorrows in wine, women, and song for a long time, after all, and women inevitably made babies.
Hercules married Hebe. Zeus spirited the Prince Ganymede from Troy, which was probably not a good thing all told because there wouldn’t have been all that trouble later if he’d been in Troy. Hera was furious until Ganymede charmed her. Then Hera was smug like a cat and Zeus found himself in the unique position of having a house that was, for once, at peace with itself.
The women giggled, and sent blue roses to Hera. Hades was never quite sure where they had come from.
And then one day, he opened the door to find Hercules and Hebe standing outside. Hebe was almost immediately spirited off by the women, who had somehow planned the entire thing.
There was a long moment of awkwardness that stretched into almost an infinity before he started to say, “So . . . how’s life?” at the same time as Hercules began saying, “Listen, Hades–” They were both beat, however, by Irina, one of Hercules’ mortal children, who had managed once again to cut herself. This time with a fish.
Irina was the best swordswoman it had ever been Hades’ pleasure to teach. But she had a nasty tendency to inadvertently sharpen things around her, and then cut herself. He kissed the wound and sent her off to her mothers. Hercules was surprised to find that Hades even has a daughter. He was shocked to find out that in fact Hades didn’t but was taking care of his mortal children.
The awkwardness came back.
It lasted longer this time, because Hebe and the Women walked in laughing with each other and surrounded by a gaggle of children to announce that dinner as ready and if they would please quit being so weird they could eat it in the garden.
It was Seph’s garden, which should have been his first clue.
It was Deianira’s cooking, which should have been his second. Seph was good for fresh strawberries and Meg was good for the massive quantities of food needed for two gods, two dead women, and ten children between the ages of six and sixteen. Deianira was good for getting rid of inhibitions.
Dessert was honey-wine cakes. By that point, his mind should have been screaming. In fact the only thing that his mind did was hum happily and then wander off to bed, carrying Hercules.
Hades wasn’t worried about Seph, but it was a big surprise to realize in the morning that Meg and Deianira and Hebe had also been in on it. Not that a lot of his mind was paying attention while a tiny part of him ticked off the thoughts and counted them up, because mostly it paid attention to Hercules.
Hercules paid attention to Meg and Deianira and Hebe and Seph, however. He did rather more than pay attention until Hebe threw a pillow at him and told him that they were moving in with Hades, end of discussion.
Meg wore her “I’m a cat who got the cream” smile and nothing else, at least until Deianira tackled her.
Hercules didn’t get out of the house until much, much later.
Today is the twenty-eighth day of the Omer, which is four weeks into the Omer.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-05-01 04:09 am (UTC)<3<3<3<3
Typos: B that point, should be By that point. bee in on it. should be been.
Cutting oneself with a fish is hilarious.
....Also, I love you dearly yes. <3
no subject
Date: 2007-05-01 04:09 am (UTC)By the by, you have two misspells: By that point..., and and Hebe had also been in on it.