Bar Mitzvah
Jun. 28th, 2008 11:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tanarillAdam, who remains my step-second-cousin, was Bar Mitzvah'd today.
For those who have forgotten, or never knew, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs are completely separate from the celebrations. A Jewish male becomes a Bar Mitzvah by turning thirteen; likewise, females become Bat Mitzvah by turning twelve. This marks the age at which the person becomes a legal adult in the eyes of Jewish community, and happens whether or not anyone does anything about it. It's kind of like how you become a legal American adult when you turn eighteen, whether or not you register to vote. However, the Tradition (and this one is powerful enough to rate a big T) is that a Bar or Bat Miztvah, upon reaching the age of adulthood, reads a portion of the Torah.
This does not in any way resemble opening a Bible and reading out loud. The complications are:
The Torah is not book-shaped. It's a scroll. A big, heavy, scroll, with very small writing. You don't touch it with your hands.
It's not written in English. It's not even written in Hebrew, or at least, not modern Hebrew. It's written in ancient Hebrew. Hebrew is a strange language in that none of the letters are vowels. Instead, the vowels are little dots and dashes written around the letters, and there are words that are conjugated by the placement of different vowels on the word. The Torah scrolls don't actually have the vowels written down. You kind of already have to know which vowels are in place and, consequently, which conjugation is being used before you go to read it.
It's not actually read. It's chanted. There are a whole different set of little squigglies, called tropes, that go around the words. Each trope has a certain associated emphasis, so you know that the word with a "revi'i" on it ought to start loud and high-pitched and then dip low and quiet toward the end of the word. The thing is that the Torah scroll has about as many tropes as it has vowels - which is to say, none. You have to memorize the correct tropes ahead of time.
In fact, pretty much the only way to read Torah properly is to memorize the portion ahead of time, and use the actual Torah scroll as a set of visual prompts. It takes several months to prepare, and it's easy to screw up.
Adam did a fantastic job.
Then, this being a Jewish event, we ate. Usually after the morning service at which the Bar/Bat Mitzvah reads, there is a large snack or small lunch called a kiddush (keed-oosh). This was not a kiddush. This was a meal. There was more food than could possibly be eaten, even by a horde of Jews. So we ate, and then came back to the hotel for sleeps.
While we were sleeping, I'll give a slight explanation of Adam. His biological father and mother divorced. Then, both parents remarried. So he now has four extended families: his mother's, his stepfather's, his father's, and his stepmother's (that's mine). And, yes, they are all here.
His father runs a software company. He's been running this company since his junior year of high school. He earns around a dollar every time a certain thing he programmed is used, which makes him Very Rich.
Okay, so. Normally, on the evening of a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, there is a large party for the families. This is where we terrify the man or woman of honor by putting them on a chair and dancing while they grip the chair until their knuckles turn white.
This is not what happened. Instead, they rented out a place called FunFest. It's a place with bowling and laser tag and an arcade. That kind of place. And, with four extended families, we filled the place to bursting. Dinner was pizza. Adam vanished into the laser tag area early on. My father's Aunt Adelle (Adrian's mother) was made to bowl. In short, awesome.
So now I'm back. I still hate Pittsburgh. Adam and mini-Adam (okay, Adam's three-year-old half-brother Noah) are cute, though, so all is well.
The plan for tomorrow is to go to the seeing-people-off brunch and eat more, then heading off to Hershey. Yes, that Hershey.
Now, a moment of oddness. While watching JJ get dressed for Shul, I realized that even though he is my younger brother and will always be my little brother, he's also shot up in the past year and lost his slight pudge in the process. He is, in fact, hot. I'm aware that it is my job, as his big sister, to notice this kind of thing and make sure he's dressed in flattering clothing. But. JJ? My little brother? Cute, much less smoking? When? What? How?!!
For those who have forgotten, or never knew, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs are completely separate from the celebrations. A Jewish male becomes a Bar Mitzvah by turning thirteen; likewise, females become Bat Mitzvah by turning twelve. This marks the age at which the person becomes a legal adult in the eyes of Jewish community, and happens whether or not anyone does anything about it. It's kind of like how you become a legal American adult when you turn eighteen, whether or not you register to vote. However, the Tradition (and this one is powerful enough to rate a big T) is that a Bar or Bat Miztvah, upon reaching the age of adulthood, reads a portion of the Torah.
This does not in any way resemble opening a Bible and reading out loud. The complications are:
The Torah is not book-shaped. It's a scroll. A big, heavy, scroll, with very small writing. You don't touch it with your hands.
It's not written in English. It's not even written in Hebrew, or at least, not modern Hebrew. It's written in ancient Hebrew. Hebrew is a strange language in that none of the letters are vowels. Instead, the vowels are little dots and dashes written around the letters, and there are words that are conjugated by the placement of different vowels on the word. The Torah scrolls don't actually have the vowels written down. You kind of already have to know which vowels are in place and, consequently, which conjugation is being used before you go to read it.
It's not actually read. It's chanted. There are a whole different set of little squigglies, called tropes, that go around the words. Each trope has a certain associated emphasis, so you know that the word with a "revi'i" on it ought to start loud and high-pitched and then dip low and quiet toward the end of the word. The thing is that the Torah scroll has about as many tropes as it has vowels - which is to say, none. You have to memorize the correct tropes ahead of time.
In fact, pretty much the only way to read Torah properly is to memorize the portion ahead of time, and use the actual Torah scroll as a set of visual prompts. It takes several months to prepare, and it's easy to screw up.
Adam did a fantastic job.
Then, this being a Jewish event, we ate. Usually after the morning service at which the Bar/Bat Mitzvah reads, there is a large snack or small lunch called a kiddush (keed-oosh). This was not a kiddush. This was a meal. There was more food than could possibly be eaten, even by a horde of Jews. So we ate, and then came back to the hotel for sleeps.
While we were sleeping, I'll give a slight explanation of Adam. His biological father and mother divorced. Then, both parents remarried. So he now has four extended families: his mother's, his stepfather's, his father's, and his stepmother's (that's mine). And, yes, they are all here.
His father runs a software company. He's been running this company since his junior year of high school. He earns around a dollar every time a certain thing he programmed is used, which makes him Very Rich.
Okay, so. Normally, on the evening of a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, there is a large party for the families. This is where we terrify the man or woman of honor by putting them on a chair and dancing while they grip the chair until their knuckles turn white.
This is not what happened. Instead, they rented out a place called FunFest. It's a place with bowling and laser tag and an arcade. That kind of place. And, with four extended families, we filled the place to bursting. Dinner was pizza. Adam vanished into the laser tag area early on. My father's Aunt Adelle (Adrian's mother) was made to bowl. In short, awesome.
So now I'm back. I still hate Pittsburgh. Adam and mini-Adam (okay, Adam's three-year-old half-brother Noah) are cute, though, so all is well.
The plan for tomorrow is to go to the seeing-people-off brunch and eat more, then heading off to Hershey. Yes, that Hershey.
Now, a moment of oddness. While watching JJ get dressed for Shul, I realized that even though he is my younger brother and will always be my little brother, he's also shot up in the past year and lost his slight pudge in the process. He is, in fact, hot. I'm aware that it is my job, as his big sister, to notice this kind of thing and make sure he's dressed in flattering clothing. But. JJ? My little brother? Cute, much less smoking? When? What? How?!!
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no subject
Date: 2008-06-29 08:51 am (UTC)Congratulations to Adam for not giving him more to giggle about :)
There was more food than could possibly be eaten, even by a horde of Jews.
*gapes in shock* bu-but didn't you have the grandmothers and the aunts stalking round filling plates and demanding people eat? (Remembers cousin's wife's family and if you visited all of her female relatives would consider themselves to have failed if you could walk out under your own power)
It's a place with bowling and laser tag and an arcade.
Dancing around the guy with the laser gun and trying to terrify him to white-knuckleness? A new take on an old tradition.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-30 01:01 am (UTC)It took the guy who invented modern Hebrew nearly twenty years to do so, for this exact reason.
didn't you have the grandmothers and the aunts stalking round filling plates and demanding people eat?
No, actually. That's what happens on holidays. And everyone goes home with food to last through the next ice age.
Dancing around the guy with the laser gun and trying to terrify him to white-knuckleness?
Hah, yes. We should have. Everyone who has gone though the chair dance ought to be able to inflict it on somebody else . . .