BRB, Dying of Plague

Yesterday was fun. Yesterday I went to the Bar Mitzvah of my dentist's son. My dentist, FYI, is also my first cousin. We went to an orthodox shul, which differ quite a bit from the conservative ones in this way: men and women do not sit together. There's this little baffle, called a mekhitza (meh-khee-tsah, kh like the ch is Scottish loch) between the male a female sides. Only very young boys are allowed to sit on the female side, with their mothers. Women aren't really allowed to participate in the service, either -_-

The other major difference between an Orthodox and conservative shul is this: they don't do extraneous prayers. There are a lot of extra prayers you can insert into a Jewish service, most of them things like, "We pray for health and happiness and safe recovery of Aunt _____, who recently had a stroke." But the orthodoxy only does these when doing solitary prayer. They blast through the rest of the like nobody's business. So instead of starting at nine and ending at noon, they start at nine and end at ten-thirty or eleven. Which, I feel, is a reasonable timeframe for a service.

Afterwards, this being a Jewish event, there was food. The salad was meh, but there were also yummy Swedish meatballs and some good turkey and some better beef and some really damn good chaulnt. (Chaulnt is pronounced chont, close but not exactly like chant. It is an incredibly heavy bean and potato and meat stew.) This version also had kishka in it. Kishka is a kind of nearly-vegetarian sausage where the stuffing is mostly matzah and someone chikkin fat. It is yuumy fried or stewed, but don't eat it raw. And then there were fruits and cakes for dessert.

Then we came home and I went to sleep off that food. And a lovely evening was had by all.

At fourish, I woke up and puked my guts up. And then kept on dry heaving for another fifteen minutes, to make sure my stomach was entirely empty. Once I had cleaned up, I, being the sensible person that I am, went to go find something liquid to help get rid of the taste and also rehydrate me. That plan went over like an oyster takes to mountaineering.

So, after I had cleaned up again, I took some pink-abysmal. This helped somewhat, and I slept again until five. Five is when the other half of my digestive track attacked with HORRIBLE SHARP STABBY PAIN. It was a miserable night all around, followed by a miserable morning, a nap fueled mostly by lack of sleep, and a shower fueled mostly by the fact that I was under eight blankets and still cold until the fever broke. All the while dealing with this HORRIBLE SHARP STABBY PAIN in my guts.

Fun times.

So, yeah. I'm skipping some portion of first period lab tomorrow in the hopes that extra sleep and pills will make the horrible go away, and also because I can't sit vertically for ten minutes at a time, much less drive up to Flint. And that, if I ask nicely, maybe I will be allowed to drink something more substantive than water or eat anything at all.

I can no haz plague nao, plz? [puppydog!sadface]