I Wants Porn

A report of Things that Happened:

Last night, MW refused to get out of the house until 8.30, which means we didn't get to GR until almost 11. The guy at the hotel desk doesn't speak English and I had to explain that I had a prepaid reservation four times before he got it and gave me the room key. In the room, I dove into bed, pausing only once to strip.

This morning, we had to be at the hospital at 6 AM, which is to say I set the alarm for 5.20. And I got up and was dressed and ready to go in four minutes. It took MW half an hour to do the same thing, and we almost didn't make the hospital in time.

At the hospital, we waited in a room with four humans younger than four, which was painful. There was news on, and I discovered that the moon hadn't been covered in clouds, it had been being eaten by a wolf . . . I mean, there was a complete eclipse. Then my nurse came.

So I was weighed up again. I've gained two kilos since the 10th :< And I was bled again, that made it 8 pokes. Then I gave a urine sample, got out of my clothes and into the hospital gown (but at least it was actual fabric, not flimsy paper). Then they took me to the prep area, which was busy and full of people, and I met important people like the operating doctor and my anesthesiologist. I gave them the card I wrote for the recipient, then they put an IV. That was poke number 9.

I think for the first half hour it was just isotonic salt water. Then they stuck syringes in two of the massive number of connections. I remember asking what it was, and being told "chemical toys." I said that made me happy, because I'm chemistry major . . .

And then I woke up. Kinda.

By which I mean that I was aware enough to hear people talking around me, but I could not get my eyes open and forget talking. Still, my nurse was around and kept asking me things, to which I remember nodding my head. There's this 0-10 pain scale, 10 being tortured in the Spanish Inquisition. I couldn't talk, so to get it across we went through the: are you at 10? are you at 9?

By the time I could talk, it had settled from 6 down to 4.5, where I think I'ma be for the next few days. Then they took me out of the recovery room and into a regular room, got me hooked up to my blood feed, and I fell asleep. This was about 11, as indicated by a frustrating game of 20 Questions.

At about 2.30ish, I started to wake up, but it took me another hour to get up enough to pass the "walk ten feet" test. Then they took the IV out, I got dressed, and left.

We hit the hotel at around 4. I dove back int bed. MW let me sleep until 8, when she got me up because at that point I hadn't eaten for 20 hours and needed to get some food in me. But because I wasn't breathing during the operations, they had a tube down my throat breathing for me and my throat hurts. So soft foods.

We had (unspicy) Thai. Just because I need soft foods doesn't mean they have to be flavorless.

Now I'm in bed again. It doesn't hurt to stand, or lie down, or sit. It hurts to go from standing to sitting or lying down. Or walk. Or do anything, really. I'm taking nasty tasting things every 15 mins, which is keeping me not in screaming pain. Tomorrow, I'll only need them every hour.

Work Thursday. Urg.

So: I can has porn, please? Porn makes everything better.