I speak, not of the Spanish Malagas, but the Kosher wines of the same name. If I had to describe the taste, it would be like taking cough syrup, adding sugar to it, and then allowing the whole thing to ferment. It tastes exactly like fake grape flavoring, and I don't really know how that's managed because it comes from real grapes. We all drink it anyway because the other Kosher wines are worse.
You must understand that because grapes are not meat and no meat or meat products are used in wine production, it's impossible to make an unKosher wine.
To understand why the Kosher wineries don't just make better tasting wines, I must relate a story. My great-great-granduncle, who immigrated from the old counrty, lived in Kentucky. Kentucky is bourbon country, and he was regularly invited by some of his gentile friends to try the Kentucky bourbon. Eventually, he agreed. The poured him a shotglass of it; the drop that spilled was stripping the varnish of the table. So he picks up the shot, slugs it, slams the shotglass down and says . . . "That vas nice vine."
That is what most Black Hatter patriarchs think of bourbon, even today. Malaga, as far as they are concerned, is not wine. It's not even alcoholic. You give it to the kids to make then sleepy, and the women because [rolleyes] women cannot handle real vodka, and therefore it has to be sweet.
The sad bit is that my grandmother, 84 year old putz that she is, likes Malaga. Way to enforce the stereotype! [/sarcastic]
no subject
I speak, not of the Spanish Malagas, but the Kosher wines of the same name. If I had to describe the taste, it would be like taking cough syrup, adding sugar to it, and then allowing the whole thing to ferment. It tastes exactly like fake grape flavoring, and I don't really know how that's managed because it comes from real grapes. We all drink it anyway because the other Kosher wines are worse.
You must understand that because grapes are not meat and no meat or meat products are used in wine production, it's impossible to make an unKosher wine.
To understand why the Kosher wineries don't just make better tasting wines, I must relate a story. My great-great-granduncle, who immigrated from the old counrty, lived in Kentucky. Kentucky is bourbon country, and he was regularly invited by some of his gentile friends to try the Kentucky bourbon. Eventually, he agreed. The poured him a shotglass of it; the drop that spilled was stripping the varnish of the table. So he picks up the shot, slugs it, slams the shotglass down and says . . . "That vas nice vine."
That is what most Black Hatter patriarchs think of bourbon, even today. Malaga, as far as they are concerned, is not wine. It's not even alcoholic. You give it to the kids to make then sleepy, and the women because [rolleyes] women cannot handle real vodka, and therefore it has to be sweet.
The sad bit is that my grandmother, 84 year old putz that she is, likes Malaga. Way to enforce the stereotype! [/sarcastic]
Aren't you glad you're not Jewish?